Craigslist Posting for a Piccolo….

Actual Craigslist posting.
4SP Silver Plated Gemienhardt Piccolo w: hard case

http://kpr.craigslist.org/msg/4174429971.html

They call the trumpet “God’s Instrument.” The instrument that takes a month to learn and a lifetime to master. Forget that. I’m giving you the chance to own “Satan’s Instrument.” The instrument that takes a second to hate and a lifetime to get used to. If your goal is world domination, getting the ball rolling on the apocalypse, or simply disarming someone who’s a little too “rapey,” this miniature flute of terror will hold the game down. And how.

Brought to you by Lucifer himself, this 4SP Silver Plated Gemienhardt Piccolo will serve his evil minion well. From it’s compact arthritis-inducing body this pipe will unleash a sound that can bring entire crowds of people to their knees in pain and surrender. If you’re thinking of starting a bloody coup, leave the AK-47s and sarin gas at home son, this picc is all you need.

This instrument has the ability to sing an A five lines above the staff so crisp and clear that if you’re not careful may actually cleave your conductor’s brain clean in half. It’s highest note is one only dogs can hear, that composers have dubbed “X.”

Apart from the oboe, this is the only instrument able to kick a field goal of pain right between the goal posts of your unfortunate target’s neurons, resulting in synaptic misfires, blown mental fuses, and a complete breakdown of all left brain activity, leaving the right brain to writhe in pain and confusion whilst scrambling all bodily motor functions. Any soul unlucky enough to wind up on the business end of Beezulbub’s piccolo will instantly be reduced to the fetal position and revoked of their right to free will.

Aside from violating several Geneva Convention protocols, this wailing weaponry can produce frequencies that wreak havoc upon others by causing:
– sudden unexpected nosebleeds
– aphasia
– heart palpitations
– aneurisms
– loss of sanity
– unexplainable rage
– spontaneous combustion
– abandonment of the will to live
– anal leakage

It’s a common mistake to think that the piccolo also has side effects on it’s user. Many claim it causes acute narcissism, but in reality the only people drawn to this instrument are already delusionally narcissistic, have serial killer tendencies, and show traits as promising future dictators.

Because of this instrument, I now rule over my own sovereign island, where I preach from balconies and lounge in my throne poppin’ bottles while getting fanned with palm fronds waved by ridiculously hot cabana boys. Tomorrow’s forecast: Whatever the hell I want.

Since I’m livin’ the dream, I’m retiring from my reign of terror and passing on the torch. Being evil is an arduous, exhaustive effort, and this musical scepter cannot be played by your average whitebread vanilla villain. Only the most cunning, dextrous, morally ambiguous, and questionably sane may apply. Who among you is worthy?

$300 obo. Willing to throw in a box of gravel and ship.

Interesting Flute Site

I am addicted to RSS feeds. I was extremely sad when Google Reader was shut down in July. However, there have been a lot of replacements, and the one I currently use, NewsBlur, has been terrific. It helps me sift through nearly 900 sites. I am an information junkie.

In my travels on the RSS feeds, I came across a new site to me. http://www.repairmyflute.com/. Which is the Powell repair blog. There is a LOT of great information in there. Go spend some time and learn about flute repair, maintenance, and care.

Sam Most Dies

Some sad news today:

Sam Most, bebop’s pre-eminent flute player as well as one of the first ones, died Thursday morning. He was 82 years old.

First gaining notice in the mid 1950s beginning with his single “Undercurrent Blues,” Most was also among the first to sing through his flute. Herbie Mann, Rahsaan Roland Kirk and Hubert Laws have all cited him as influential in their own renowned careers as flautists. Jazz historian Leonard Feather once stated that “Justice should demand that the history books document (Sam) Most’s role as the first truly creative Jazz Flutist.”

NAMM Oddities 2013

Barry Wood has updated his NAMM Oddities page from this year’s NAMM show. NAMM is a trade show that happens around the beginning of the year for music related items.

Some flute related items are here:

I’ll skip over the Polycarbonate crap and skip to what I thought was interesting, the gFlute. The gFlute seems to be made out of Grenaditte, which sounds like sorta the stuff they make the Greenline Buffet clarinets out of. Basically, sounds like it is some sort of wood and epoxy composite. Not to say that is a bad thing at all. A quick Google search of Grenaditte seems to result in rather positive reviews of the flutes. And they are priced fairly well compared to “real wood”, coming in at about $2K.

Maybe one day when I have money I’ll try a headjoint from them….

Launch Equity Acquires MakeMusic

Launch Equity Acquires MakeMusic:

Today, MakeMusic announced that Launch Equity will purchase the company.  You can read MakeMusic’s press release here.   Launch Equity proposed the buyout last July (July 15, 2012), with the intent of taking the company private and then investing money into the company for a new CEO as well as updating software (particularly Finale’s base code).

(Via Technology in Music Education)

This is great news considering Avid is falling off a cliff and the development team of Sibelius was sacked and have started a new project with Steinberg.

However, this did crop up. Seems everyone isn’t happy about this

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